Clinical

 Depression can be a complex condition.

Almost one in five Americans will suffer from a bout of depression at some point in their lives. Even if you haven't experienced depression, you probably know someone who has. Here are some facts about depression that everyone should know.

People with clinical depression most of the time. is that they only can react to outside stimulus and ........

Whether you want to believe what I have to say or not, but this is what I went through from my health perspective, your attitude toward me, caused my emotions to take control and made my depression worse.  I needed more support from you but that did not happen and I could not do it by myself. My emotions moved up and then went down and took me in many different directions looking for more self esteem to make up for the missing serotonin. Having the support from my family and treat me like I had a disability that needed your support. If that happened none of my aberrant behavior never would have happened. The missing serotonin and lack my self esteem caused me to become addicted to finding more self esteem at almost any cost. This was not a rational thought or something i wanted to do. it became necessary to keep me alive. I am pretty sure I would not I would be alive today, if I had not done things I did. Because I felt much better after I completed finding more self esteem. I did not have any control over my feelings, it was all being controlled by my disability in my brain which interfered with the production of serotonin which interferes which caused and made so much so, that I could not get back to where my mood needed to be. Part of my problem was that I did not have your permission to get past my my social level. So without any support, I had no place to go.

When anyone suffers from a disability, there is nothing they can do to correct it. All they can do is try to cope with their symptoms. so for me each day I begin with much lower mood. I spend the rest of my day finding activities that will create more serotonin which helps to bring me back to normal

Below are 3 clocks that show 

What happens with a loss of of self esteem.

The clock above shows 9:00

The long hand on each clock represents how much distance there is from where I am and where I need to be

This represents people whose mood gets an adequate amount of Serotonin.

Being in the esteem level, I feel I have respect, self esteem, status. recognition, and freedom.

Confidence in one's value as a human being is a precious psychological resource and generally a highly positive factor in life; it is correlated with achievement, good relationships, and satisfaction.Allows me to keep focus on what I need to do

Using the time on the above clock

15 minutes shy of 9:00

I have to make up I have to find self esteem to each my esteem level

Here are some of the symptoms I am dealing with:

Feelings that apply to me

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

Using the time on the above clock

30 minutes shy of 9:00

This translates into only have 50% of my self esteem. This where my family or close friends to help get through the..

XXX

This Love and Belonging is critical to my recovery:

Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, a religion, or something else, people tend to have an 'inherent' desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves. Wikipedia

This where I land; below Belongingness and Love  Level

In order to get back up to the esteem level I would have to get permission from my family to solve all needs in the belongingness and love level. If my family will not give me permission, I will lack all the social needs which I need to get back to my esteem level

If my environment remains the same..

then my depression gets worse. I become isolated, negative comments, and a greater loss of social and emotional issues. The more this goes on, my mood looks for other sources, regardless of being right or wrong.

Years ago I was working. Suddenly, I lost focus and I had a strong urge to end my life. I finally took out my checkbook and wrote a $100 check as a donation. As soon I gave them the check, I urge to take my life was gone. Situations like this happened all the time but hardly ever involved money. Of course, I did spend money on things that I needed. Why did I do it, it provided me with equipment to do my work which made feel important because the activities I was doing.

I also started to get involved in many volunteer activities such as;

Volunteering at Piedmont and St Joes, taking photos for the Diocese, being very involved in committees in the Diocese, Province IV, and even the national church.

However. these activities have a short shelf life. So, they lose any self esteem the after the activity is finished

 

Being involved in all these activities filled the gap of not getting positive self esteem at home. If I had not done this, my life probably would have ended during this period of time. The bottom line for this was I was not getting any support from my family, so I found the above situations to improve my mood which helped me cope and minimize my symptoms of depression. I often thought about ending my life, because the pain and tension that built up inside of my brain What you told me "stop being so dramatic."

My part of my brain that controls my mood and does not receive the needed brain chemicals or getting other sources of self esteem, 

So from my perspective, you have been getting upset about my behavior rather than concentrating on my disability and helping me to cope with my depression.

The problem is that when you try to correct my behavior using negative comments, etc. makes my depression worse. Negative comments creates tension in my body send m. back...

Right now I am suffering from issues from my heart.

There is a strong  that this was caused by my depression. My depression causes 

What I really need to make me a better person which will help me manage my symptoms. an be supportive and welcoming. We could be back perhaps where we enjoyed each others company.

My bad behavior was caused by my disability but treating me with respect will make the bad behavior go away.

Many studies have found that people with depression have higher risks of heart disease and stroke, for example," Gilman said.

The findings are based on 3,410 Canadian adults who were followed for up to several decades. The first wave of participants was interviewed in 1952, the next in 1970, and the final in 1992.

At each wave, roughly 6 percent of adults had depression, based on a standard evaluation.

And on average, those people had a shorter life span. For example, a 25-year-old man who was depressed in 1952 could expect to live another 39 years, on average. That compared with 51 years for a man without depression.

Depressed- Lives to 64

Undepressed  Lives to 76

Click here to read about how Depression can shorten one's life

Click here to read the article about "10 Ways to Cope With Depression"

Click here to read the article about "Coping with Depression"

Click here to read the article "7 Surprising Facts About Depression"